Women in Leadership: Dealing with Insecurity

If women leaders were asked the question, ‘’Who or what is your worst enemy?’’ The surprising answer is usually ‘’myself.’’ Women tend to struggle with insecurity disproportionately. When something goes wrong professionally, women blame themselves while crediting others when things go right. So why do women hold themselves back and why do they feel so inadequate?

Beating Imposter Syndrome

People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the acclamation they get from others. They feel that they are not as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. People with imposter syndrome are often accomplished however, they struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth. Perfectionists are also prone to never feeling good enough because they cannot match the ideal versions of themselves that they have created in their minds. Instead of acknowledging their capabilities as well as their efforts, they often attribute their accomplishments to external causes. They regularly down play their own efforts and capabilities.

New responsibilities and roles can also trigger imposter syndrome which is not at all uncommon. I once coached a new manager who felt desperately unworthy of the role. She had no experience and felt her team members were older and had more experience. However, as she bravely faced her fears and forgot about all the expectations that had been placed upon her and concentrated on doing her best, she found her rhythm and became successful. As she settled in and became more familiar with the role, she was able to take things in her stride. All new managers will have to overcome challenges that is natural and part of the process. If you are a new manager, cut yourself some slack. If you fail at something, ensure that your fail-forward by learning from your failures.

Reframe failure to reduce self-induced pressure

The journey of leadership is not always a smooth path for women. Women need the resolve and determination to go after what matters to them despite the challenges that may arise. With power comes responsibility which can be scary and owning failure is particularly difficult. By reframing the concept of failure as an opportunity for reflection and not going back into self-doubt, women will stop berating themselves for perceived inadequacies.

Women place high levels of expectancy and pressure on themselves to be the perfect employee, boss, spouse and mother. By investing in themselves and displaying resilience, women will not be daunted by failures and challenges that come their way. However, women must resist the urge to overcompensate by obtaining multiple degrees and procrastinating applying for top positions.

Identify your Saboteurs

Are you a woman who aspires to greater career advancement? Do you feel stuck? What could be derailing your efforts and stifling your growth? As a Coach, I find that educating my clients on identifying their internal Saboteurs can help them to push past their fears, break habitual patterns of behavior that keep them stuck and take the kind of action that helps them to reach their potential. If you want to boldly share your unique talents and gifts with the world and achieve more than you ever thought possible, working closely with a Coach can help you finally make a breakthrough.

Let go of perfectionism

Research has shown that women are more likely to be perfectionists than men. ‘All or nothing thinking’ is one of the most common cognitive distortions exhibited by many perfectionists. They may have performed well at a certain task but if their performance fails to meet their excessively high standards, then they will feel like failures. However, life is rarely ‘black’ or ‘white.’ The recovering perfectionist must embrace shades of grey. They need to set realistic standards, celebrate incremental growth, and redefine success.

Perfectionists may also become overly-critical of themselves which lowers their self-esteem. If they extend this critical spirit to their interactions with others, they will jeopardize their relationships. Focusing on mistakes and imperfections can make life dull and disappointing. If you are guilty of being too critical, pause and remember that ‘perfect’ is a myth. It is a projected ideal that can never really be achieved because it does not exist. It is an illusion that is subjective and does not reflect reality. Furthermore, if you are guilty of this, remember that your ‘ideal’ or interpretation may not the same as another person’s ideal.

In conclusion, the first step to creating real change is for women to secure a seat at the table so they have an opportunity to challenge the stereotypes, norms and conventions that perpetuate gender inequality. Women need to be proactive about equipping themselves with the right skill sets, building their self-confidence and seizing the opportunities that arise. Women need to invest time to work on themselves to uncover blocks that are holding them back. Mentoring and supporting upcoming female professionals is also critical to develop their confidence. Women need to champion and support other women. By actively using their power of influence and the platform which they have, women can uplift and inspire others and become role models for future generations of leaders.

Article by Shailja Sharma, SBS Faculty Member and Career Coach