Does Conflict Make You Uncomfortable?

Conflict resolution may not be an intuitive skill for new managers. However, effectively managing interpersonal conflict among employees is a must-have skill for all managers regardless of their level of experience.  Unfortunately, many new managers feel unprepared to do so and are still grappling with the transition from individual contributor to managing team output.

Conflict can arise in a variety of ways. At its core, conflict is an opposition or misalignment between ideas, agendas or desires and people. Differences in points of view or opinions, competing priorities, lack of clarity, incorrect assumptions, perceived inequities, and political and social disagreements can cause conflict. This tension can stoke primal impulses in even the most composed individuals and raise the emotional temperature in meetings and interactions which can be very uncomfortable for new managers.

As a Leadership and Career Coach, I have worked with many Executives who have faced difficult situations that involve conflict and conflict escalations. I also teach ‘Effective Communication for Leaders,’ for the New Managers Leadership Programme (NMLP) at Strathmore University Business School, where I unpack different communication styles and work with managers to build better relationships with all their stakeholders. Effective conflict resolution begins with building a culture of trust and improving team communication.

This article aims to explore conflict resolution strategies for new managers.

Analyse the Situation

To ascertain whether the conflict requires your involvement, the first step is gauge how serious the dispute is. Conflicts can arise and be solved between parties that will resent any interference from a third party. In fact, your interference can backfire and escalate the situation. If it is a disagreement between coworkers or an inter-team conflict that has low stakes and where neither party is behaving in an abusive way or manner that is contrary to the rules of engagement you have set for your team, then step back and observe the situation. The issue may dissipate without compromising team performance.

On the other hand, if there is serious discrimination or abuse, it may be better to involve HR personnel. If the situation is not serious enough to require HR intervention but still requires some intervention on your part, then it is important to become actively involved to resolve the dispute.

Begin by assessing the situation in a non-judgemental way and be aware of any assumptions or biases you may have. Try to understand the underlying root causes that are driving the conflict. It may be better to have one on one meetings with the individuals involved to allow them to explain their perspectives. You need to ensure you provide the confidential, conversational space to allow people to vent. Simon Sinek, the leadership thought-leader, advised people to ‘be the last person to speak.’ This is key in these situations. Practice active listening and empathy and allow people to feel they have been heard. Paraphrasing what they have said and asking for clarification at the end can also ensure there is no miscommunication.

Manage your Reactions

When it is your turn to speak choose your language carefully and acknowledge the other person’s feelings to ease the tension and help them to become more relaxed and receptive to what you have to say. Ask objective questions to probe further. Objective questions are based on facts not feelings and will help you gather facts and calm emotions. Be aware of your facial expression and body language to put the other person at ease.

Employees also react and express themselves differently; some might be very passive in their communication and try to avoid conflict. Others may become passive-aggressive and will not express themselves openly. You will need to exercise patience and help them to feel comfortable expressing themselves. On the other end of the spectrum, you may have to deal with very aggressive personalities.

Self-Management is critical to conflict resolution. You do not want to exacerbate the problem with a poorly managed reaction. Remain calm no matter what and practice controlling your emotions. Remember, if emotions start taking over the conversation, it is better to reschedule the meeting and allow the other person to cool down.

Learn to embrace conflict and do not shy away from dealing with it so that it does not snowball and threaten team performance. Use these situations to gain a deeper understanding of your team members and team dynamics.

Chart a Way Forward

When you have determined the origin of the conflict and understood all parties’ viewpoints you can then work towards finding constructive solutions and resolutions. Conflict resolutions is not a one-size-fits-all approach, team dynamics, different personalities and diverse organizational contexts will all lend complexity to these situations.

Facilitate productive conversations between the affected parties. After creating a safe space where you set the rules for engagement, encourage individuals to articulate their experiences without interruptions. Ask strategic questions to guide the parties towards finding a resolution. It is important not to take sides at this point. Miscommunications and assumptions will appear in the dialogue as each party shares. These can then be corrected and clarified during the conversation. When aggrieved parties air their views openly and calmly, solutions often appear, and you may only need to serve as a mediator.

However, if you do need to step in and make decisions, be transparent, fair and explain the basis of your conclusions and decisions with facts. Try to maintain an atmosphere of trust and understanding.

Managers are expected to exercise good conflict management skills to protect productivity, boost morale and maintain a good working environment by ensuring the psychological safety of their direct reports. Trying to master this competence will stand you in good stead to becoming an effective leader.

Article by Shailja Sharma, SBS Faculty Member and Leadership and Career Coach