{"id":50473,"date":"2026-07-06T11:39:04","date_gmt":"2026-07-06T08:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbs.strathmore.edu\/?p=50473"},"modified":"2026-07-06T11:39:04","modified_gmt":"2026-07-06T08:39:04","slug":"and-god-said-love-your-enemy-so-i-started-loving-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbs.strathmore.edu\/fr\/and-god-said-love-your-enemy-so-i-started-loving-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"And God Said, \u201cLove Your Enemy\u201d… So I Started Loving Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few years ago, I hit a hard wall. I won\u2019t bore you with the gritty details, but let\u2019s just say the internal stress was heavy, I felt completely stuck, and I was running on absolute empty. One evening, completely exhausted from fighting my own thoughts, a famous line popped into my head:<\/p>\n

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And God said, “Love your enemy…”<\/em> Suddenly, it hit me like a lightning bolt. I looked at how I was treating myself\u2014the constant self-sabotage, the brutal guilt, the endless mental beatings\u2014and realized something terrifying: I was doing that to myself. I was my own worst enemy.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So, I decided to try something radical. I declared a ceasefire. I started treating myself with actual compassion. And honestly, that\u2019s when everything changed and I started doing much better.<\/p>\n

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As we mark Men\u2019s Mental Health Month (which is usually in June), it\u2019s a good time to call a spade a spade. For men, mental health struggles rarely look like textbook sadness or crying in a corner. It usually looks like a silent, relentless war in our own heads. We hold ourselves to impossible standards, and the second we stumble\u2014whether it\u2019s a career roadblock, financial pressure, or a personal mistake\u2014the inner critic takes total control. We launch a campaign of harsh judgment, isolation, and silent suffering. We treat ourselves with a brutality we would never inflict on anyone else.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

But true strength doesn’t come from winning a war against your own mind. It comes from having the courage to stop the fighting.<\/p>\n

To break this down simply, changing how you treat yourself comes down to three distinct, practical phases: understanding the myth, changing the strategy, and completing the rebuild.<\/p>\n

Here is the play.<\/p>\n

Phase 1: The Discipline Myth (Our Obsession with Crisis Management)<\/h3>\n

There is a strange comfort in being your own worst critic. We buy into the myth that beating ourselves up with guilt is the only way to stay disciplined, keep our edge, or hold ourselves accountable. We convince ourselves that being kind to ourselves is soft.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s be honest: as men, we have a ridiculous obsession with crisis management<\/strong>. There\u2019s a story about a doctor who tried to publish a book on men\u2019s health, and the publishers flat out told her: Men don\u2019t care about health or upkeep. They only show up when it\u2019s a crisis<\/em>. We treat our minds exactly the same way. We ignore the warning lights on the dashboard, drive the engine completely into the dirt, and then get furious at the car for breaking down on Magadi Road at night. (feel free to think of an awkward road<\/em>).<\/p>\n

The logic completely shatters when you look at how the human mind actually handles failure. While we subconsciously think<\/em> hammering ourselves with guilt will clean the slate or fix the problem, it does the exact opposite. It backfires. It traps us in a loop of shame and heavy mental distress. We think we\u2019re engineering a tougher version of ourselves, but we\u2019re just pouring gasoline on a fire. You cannot build a better man on a foundation of self-hatred<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Phase 2: The Practical Strategy (How We “Love the Enemy”)<\/h3>\n

The turning point happens when you take that ancient command\u2014to love your enemy\u2014and apply it inward.<\/p>\n

For most of us, self-punishment is just an automatic reflex. Something goes wrong, and before we even think, the immediate, habit-born reaction is to tear ourselves apart. Loving the enemy means stopping that automated executioner in your head. It means stepping away from a blind, destructive reflex and choosing three tactical actions:<\/p>\n